Is MILF an Empowering Term or a Slur?

This podcast about all things parenthood puts up the term MILF for debate, it explores the ways in which moms are sexually objectified after motherhood and it brings forth the question of whether feminism should reclaim the word, just as it did with “bitch”.

One of the reasons for discussing this term is the #metoo movement and the change it brought along in terms of the way we look at some things from the past. “Should MILF be the next casualty of #metoo?,” host Andrea Silenzi asks herself. The other reason is that moms should be seen as whole people, including sexual beings. In this sense, Silenzi says, that acronym might have helped bring sexy moms into the mainstream.

One mother of three boys says that, while she still wants to be seen as attractive, the word MILF doesn’t really get her there. Especially when you break it down, the word “fuck” carries an offensive connotation. As Lisa Ann, a porn star who had her career revived and prolonged after MILF entered pop culture, points out “She knows the end goal is you want to have sex with her, but once you make it the f-word, it takes on a tone that you want to do it to her, instead of with her. Mom I’d like to fuck. Well, guess what, she has to want to fuck you back”.

Another aspect brought up by Buzzfeed senior culture writer Anne Helen Peterson is how idealized the image of the MILF is. “The MILF isn’t just a hot mom, the MILF looks untouched by the realities of how motherhood changes you, the MILF doesn’t have a C-section scar, MILF never talks about her kids, MILF doesn’t have yoghurt in her hair.”