“Hi Honey, Let’s Have An Artificial Conversation Tonight…”

“Good communication means the capacity to give another person an accurate picture of what is happening in our emotional and psychological lives – and in particular, the capacity to describe their very darkest, trickiest and most awkward sides in such a way that others can understand, and even sympathise with them”, says philosopher Alain de Botton.

The problem is that we are holding ourselves back, by issues inside of us that we can’t face up to, feel ashamed of or can’t quite understand. And if we struggle with our own emotions, wishes and desires, then how are we supposed to talk about them in an eloquent way?

The answer, says de Botton, is through artificial conversations. By this, he means deliberately setting an agenda and using some tools and rules to talk through them. Conveniently, through his “School of Life” project, he has developed a card game to help with this. Called The Confessions Game, it promises to help you and your friends to have some of the very best conversations you have ever had. Looking through the questions, it reminds me a lot of the “truth or dare” games we used to play as teenagers. But there are some useful questions in it that made me think – and wonder how my partner or friends would answer them.

If you’re curious too, this article lists a good number of them to get started, and wonder: What would you most like to be complimented on in the relationship? Where do you think you’re especially good as a person? Which of your flaws do you want to be treated more generously? What would you tell your younger self about love? What do I suspect I might get wrong about you?