A Men’s Manifesto To End Touch Isolation

When I first read this article, I wondered if I, as a woman, would have any credibility in sharing it here. But then I realised the very reason why I valued this piece is because it opened my eyes to something that I hadn’t considered before: that the impact of our collective touch phobia is felt across our society by every single man, woman and child.

Author Mark Greene, who writes for The Good Men Project and others about culture, society, family and fatherhood, makes a convincing case for a cultural phenomenon he calls "touch isolation." He writes from a US perspective, but his main argument holds truth for many modern-day societies. The fact that we collectively suspect that men "can never entirely be trusted" in the realm of the physical is a result of not teaching men how to ‘do’ platonic touch.

What happens as a result is that we create a vicious cycle:

“We prove our trustworthiness by foregoing physical touch completely in any context in which even the slightest doubt about our intentions might arise. Which, sadly, is pretty much every context we encounter. And where does this leave men? Physically and emotionally isolated. Cut off from the deeply human physical contact that is proven to reduce stress, encourage self esteem and create community. Instead, we walk in the vast crowds of our cities alone in a desert of disconnection. Starving for physical connection. We crave touch. We are cut off from it. The result is touch isolation.”

The one exception to this is a situation that will be familiar to anyone who has seen a male partner or friend become a father: Greene openly talks about how caring for his very young children reconnected him with long-term platonic physical contact.

This is one of those articles that can spark interesting and much-needed dinner table conversations.