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Yavuz Baydar
Journalist
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piqer: Yavuz Baydar
Saturday, 22 September 2018

Ferrante: Six Ways To Make A Relationship Last

This one is what one would call 'rocket science': How can one make a relationship last? For ages, humankind has faced the dilemma, hidden in puzzling questions: Are marriages the path to happiness? Is monogamy a magic wand or a curse? What does it take to live together, 'merrily ever after'?

Elena Ferrante, a writer beloved worldwide for her mesmerizing novels, wrestles with the issue in her latest article. Her thoughts are inspired by an old friend, who has had a relationship that has lasted nearly half a century.

Ferrante's conversation with her friend offers a six-point road map from a feminine point of view:

  • Mutual attraction
  • Appreciation of vices as much as virtues
  • Demonstrate respect for the other
  • Look the other way when your fidelity is betrayed
  • Repress the desire to break and leave
  • Realize that loving is a juggling exercise, a constant sacrifice

But then comes her bitter, insightful irony at the end of the text. 

Is there a solution, a formula that gives people a tool to handle one of the deepest existential challenges of all?

The answer, perhaps, is concealed in the unsaid rather than expressed.

Ferrante: Six Ways To Make A Relationship Last
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